Archive for the ‘funny’ Category

How to Nurture Your Twitter Community

@scottporad on tweeting in the context of community at the 140 Characters Conference

“I nod to a passing stranger, and the stranger nods back, and two human beings go off, feeling a little less anonymous.” —Robert Brault

This feature film stars Robert. He captures the potential for human beings to connect in a paradoxical world, where we have increasingly broad ways to connect with our fellow men and women, yet many of us feel disconnected in the online world. We yearn for ways to engage with our tweeple, bloggers and customers.

Freeze frame, in comes @letsconnect. She is following 4,500 people, with 3,550 following her. She wonders who to create a dialogue with and how to shed the veil of anonymity.

Cut to a scene starring @socialmediautopia, our protagonist. He carefully selects those people who form the background of his Twitter community. Flowers are pollinated and birds chirp incessantly. Welcome to the land of retweets, @ mentions, plus ones and blog comments.

Who you choose to nurture will vary from person-to-person depending on your product / service and goals, whether personal or professional. I give extra attention to my fellow Triberrs and people I interact with on Third Tribe Marketing and retweet at least one of a batch of my new follower’s tweets.

Next scene, @cynic. He is our antagonist. He wonders who has enough time to fly around Twitter sprinkling fairy dust on their tweeple when corporate strategies need to be developed and two year old Mary has needs her diaper changed.

How will this story end? Will followers trip over each other, trying to unfollow aggressive sellers that push out guerrilla sales tactics right before their horse has left his gate? Whoa horsey. Create value for your Twitter community. Some days “value” will translate into a 30-second investment, other days 20 minutes will be spent sharing the love. The point is that there are options.

Lets toss out the no brainers right from the get go, so we can broaden your knowledge and flex your higher brain functions.

1. Retweet, retweet, retweet. You expand your followers reach and give their post your personal stamp of approval.

2. Thank people who follow you and retweet their tweets. There are different school of thought considering Twitter etiquette here. How responsive have you been to said tweets? Get a feel for what works for you. You are letting your new followers know that they are on your radar.

Okay, lets kick things up a notch.

3. Use Klout to +K someone in their area of expertise. You’re allowed five +K’s per day, so choose them wisely. It only takes a second and improve their Klout score. For example, you could type @socialmouths in the search box and +K Francisco for his social media prowess.

4. Let others know why you are following certain key folk. This may inspire others to follow said folk, thus broadening his or her reach. For example, “I follow @lorirtaylor for her entertaining, quality and informed tweets. She is a thought leader in social media and could be your secret weapon.” Done.

5. Let others know something specific you have learned from them. Again, this promotes your tweeple and gives their voice a larger audience. Such a declaration can take this form: “Awesome post about relationship marketing: URL from @monmorong.

6. If they have a blog, take time to comment on their blog. Don’t shy away from promoting your product if it helps others meet their needs.

7. Share their blog posts / website(s). If you only have time to use one social bookmarking site, choose StumbleUpon. This will likely bring the most amount of traffic to their site. I also use Digg and Reddit on occasion. Promote the blog article on Facebook, LinkedIn, Google+ and other social media tools / sites, such as BizSugar where appropriate.

8. Think outside the box. I run a monthly “10 Awesome Tweets From My Followers in [insert month]” and more recently, “10 Awesome Tweets From People I Follow in [insert month]” on my blog. This results in a win-win situation. Your blog gets lots of traffic and tweeple get recognition / greater bang for their tweet bucks, meaning access to a larger audience. Use Refynr to sift through tweets using keywords, which will save you loads of time.

9. Add tweeple to your Circles. This says ‘your important to me’. Enough said.

10. Offer to give something they value. For example, you can ask your tweeple to tweet you key links that they want to promote (do you have any you want me to promote?). Offer early access to invite-only sites, such as Google+. Btw, if you need an invite to join Google+, give me a shout at llwalker@gmail.com.

How do you nurture you Twitter community?

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Worst Social Media Marketer of The Year Award

Meet Jim. He works for Badhire Pharmaceuticals.

Full disclosure upfront: Jim is a figment of my imagination. He is also a near perfect example of what not to do as a social media marketer. Perhaps you’ve met Jim. He may even be sitting a few cubicles down from you. He is your company’s Chief Social Media Ninja Guru Super Hero Rock Star.

Jim believes that he has just won an award for his stellar social media marketing prowess (you’re in on the joke) and has been asked to talk about social media best practices for the benefit of his audience —that’s you!

Here is an extract from his speech:

“The best way to deal with negative Facebook and Twitter comments is to delete the ones you catch as soon as possible. If your schedule is too busy to monitor social media feedback, just ignoring criticisms will suffice. Ignorance is bliss, so deny any mistakes your company makes. Use malicious software to access and exploit private information. Another great way to invade customer’s privacy is via non-targeted spam marketing. If a customer tries to interact with you, anger is an appropriate response. If a customer keeps nagging you, dropping the F-bomb should get your point across. The recipe for getting on the first page of Google is simple: use hidden text or links, cross-link sites to inflate its perceived value, use keyword stuffing, excessive outbound links and duplicate content. Pretend to be a customer and endorse your own products and services to effectively build brand loyalty. Some of you are numbers people, so lets talk about the best way to allocate your budget: 50% should be spent on buying Facebook fans and the remaining 50% on getting false testimonials, and remember talk is cheap, so over promise and under deliver.”

—Jim Blackhat, Chief Social Media Ninja Guru Super Hero Rock Star

Photo credit: Hubspot

Help Jim out by suggesting some additional social media marketing activities.

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Want to Date Me?

Watch @singleguy try to convince you to go on a date with him. One problem, he’s a social media manager and hasn’t been out in awhile. Enjoy!!

What do you think about this movie? Do you know anyone who’s remotely like this guy? What other funny social media videos have you found?

Btw, if there is an actual @singleguy on Twitter and this does not sound like you, my sincerest apologies.

What Relationship do You Have with Your Blog?

i-love-blogging

You’ve put your melon to work and have just finished writing a blog post. How do you feel? Maybe you feel a sense of accomplishment / pride or warm and fuzzing inside.

My relationship with some of my nearest and dearest blog articles are as follows:

Top 15 Best Blogging Practices: I feel appreciated as a blogger with this post. It was featured on WordPress’s Freshly Pressed and generated more than 10,000 reads. I was surprised when I discovered it have been translated into Spanish, French and Arabic and was being taught in high schools.

Get Sexy with Social Media: This video post that I created got me all worked up and left me feeling like a major geek. After two friends boast about how social media savvy they are, the conversation blooms into some sexy dialogue that only social media could make possible.

How You Can Get Featured on Freshly Pressed: I felt a sort of warmth and care for my readers, since I wanted them to get their moment in the spotlight on Freshly Pressed. I also felt connected to my readers and valued them more and more with every post since.

Top 10 Social Media Swag: I felt like whipping out the plastic and shopping a storm. I ended up buying a social mug, mouse pad, Netflix and Last.fm subscriptions, customized Jones Soda bottle and some Twitter shoes. I’m lovin’ them all!

Lets Get You Laughing: I felt uber happy when I wrote this post. I got to watch and read some really funny videos, comics, spoof news and more relating to social media and then share that slice of joy with my readers.

Here, grab the talking stick! What is your relationship with your blog posts?

Lets Get You Laughing

Having a Laugh

Do you want some good, hardy, deep-from-the-gutt kind of laughter? These 10 posts about the funny side of social media and marketing was created for that exact purpose. Enjoy!

1. Another Twitter Parody, Meet Flutter. This is a YouTube video (under four minutes) and is a social media parody directed, point blank, at Twitter.

2. Meanwhile, at Santa’s Social Media Command Center: this is a comic about the role social media plays when deciding who’s naughty or nice and responding to gift requests.

3. Apple’s Genius Bar Expands to Include Food and Drink: this is a spoof news article.

4. South Park Mac vs PC: This is a YouTube video (under two minutes) that’s a parody of Mac vs. PC commercials.

5. Twitter Movie Trailer: This is a YouTube parody trailer (under three minutes) – perhaps you can squeeze it in before lunch.

6. 5 Very Badly Placed Adverts, such as ads for McDonalds next to a child obesity advert…

7.  15 Funny Photoshop Mistakes: See a range of ads that have some serious PhotoShop mistakes.

8. Get Sexy with Social Media: this one I created and published to YouTube. Basically, these two characters show off their knowledge of Twitter lingo, then suddenly some very heavy flirting – social media style – takes place. :0)

9. Social Media Marketing for (Real) Dummies – Elaine Fogel lists three real life examples of social media marketing done badly, very badly.

8. Social Media Dating: a comic strip about how men can use social media to pick up woman.

9. Fakebook.com – Chapter One – The Idea. This is a spoof news article.

10. Awards for Social Media Addicts. Actual awards that you can download and give to favourite social media junkie.

Do you have any funny links about social media? I’d love to hear from you!

Photo by: jimbowen0306

Top 10 Social Media Swag

Want to buy a gift for your social media loving super dork? What about for you? Bring on the swag! Enjoy my video!

10. Social mug 9. Tie 8. Wall decal 7. Shades 6. Mousepad 5. Netflix subscription 4. Customized Jones Soda labels 3. Last.fm  subscription 2. Twitter shoes 1. Laptop knapsack.

My dear reader, what other ‘social media swag’ can you think of?

Get Sexy with Social Media

Do you know what it would sound like if a couple of social media geeks started to sweet talk each other? It would sound like this video, which also pays homage to the gaggle of social media lingo that exists out there in cyberspace.

Enjoy, my dear reader.

Are you a Social Media Douche bag?

This video was created by a second party and I dedicate it to the countless men and women who have earned the right to be called a social media douche bag. Enjoy!

Social Media Douche Bag Recipe

- 3 cups of calling yourself a social media guru
- 1 Tbsp of registering with dozens of social media sites, but never actually use them.
-  Pinch of guaranteeing results for your clients, but have no prior experience orchestrating a successful social media campaign.
- 1 dollop of using auto follows tools to obtain 80,000 visitor and flaunting this as evidence of your social media prowess.

Bake for 20 minutes on high and voila, a social media expert is served up to bright eyed managers eager to jump on the social media bandwagon and sink their teeth into a slice of pride that they are officially involved in the social media revolution and say look at me world.

I pass the torch to you my dear reader. What other signs make your social media expert a douche bag?

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